Not that anyone is reading this... but here goes.
I went up to the Ocoee to train to be a raft guide this past weekend. We got up Friday night, and got the campsite setup just in time for it to start raining. I don’t think my poor tent has ever really seen a sunny day (until Sunday, finally, but we’ll get to that). Luckily I just bought a fleece insert for my summer sleeping bag, which ended up being a life saver. That and my blind ferret dog, who I had to share my cot with.
So, we hunkered down on the porch of the cabin and drank some whisky (Booker’s to be exact). It was freezing cold, and wet.
We were told to be at the Outpost by 10 the next morning. We woke up that morning with just enough time to get some coffee brewing, and get our gear packed. When we got to the outpost, B Burch was nowhere to be found (he was our trainer, and one of the original Wind Wood boys). So we sat in the car and waited, thinking he had gone out for breakfast. That’s about the time when I noticed snow hitting my windshield.
So, we got breakfast, and then I finally explored the outpost and found B upstairs sleeping in the attic. Anyways, we decided that it really was just too damn cold to go down the river, so I told him to just come by the campsite when he was up.
Me and Corey headed back to the campsite to get some more sleep in our fleece bags. B and Ashley (Corey’s sister-in-law) showed up later, around lunch time and we spent the rest of the day killing time. That night, they set up a jump and were going over it on a hill billy board. Some other guys had mountain bikes that they were jumping with. Eventually, a picnic table got set up at the end of the ramp, and moved further out with each successful jump.
Some trainee from another camp decided to try the jump on a mountain bike, and almost jumped right over the picnic table. He ended up almost taking his head off on the end of the table. Dumbass.
Sunday, we were supposed to be at the outpost to train at 11 AM. I woke up to the sun warming our tent. So we got up, cooked a fat breakfast of sausage, bacon, and eggs with some camp coffee. Mike Thomas got a mouthful of grounds from his cup.
We were sitting around watching the Toccoa river when I looked at my watch and noticed it was 10:30. So we decided to go ahead and head up to the outpost, when Mike asked if we had remembered to set our watches ahead. Nope. So we jumped into the car and started heading up to the outpost and ran into B Burch on the way. He was coming to get us, since we were late.
When we got there, we had to rush to get ready. We almost forgot to grab any gear (paddles, vests, or helmets). We also didn’t bother with our wetsuits since it was so warm out. This turned out to be a big mistake.
We got loaded up, learned how to tie some new knots for tying down rafts, and headed to the put in. There were about 18 people crammed in a 14 seat van. Once we got there, we went through the whole spiel about how to issue commands and give the safety speech, like you would for customers. B Burch was determined to do two things, throw us all form the boat, and pin the raft. Pinning the raft is when the raft gets wrapped around a rock, and the ends basically get pushed under water by the rapid.
So, the first pin sucked. B is definitely the master at pinning a raft, and wrapped the thing right in the damn middle. We were standing on the side wall, since the raft was vertical, and all moved to one side (including the guide). This caused the other end to pop up and we moved off of the rock. We got through a few rapids with B intentionally turning us sideways into the rapids. This mostly just soaked us and almost threw us out. Then we got to a rapid named Double Suck. When we were coming up on it, the guy in the front right (who is an experienced raft guide) looked back and said, “Who wants to switch with me? I don’t want to be in this seat when we hit this rapid.” So, being the fearless dumbass that I am, I volunteered to switch seats with him. We hit suck one ok, but went into the second suck angled right at me. Cory, Ashley, and I all got thrown. I ended up under the raft, and felt plastic. I thought it might be my paddle and grabbed it, but it ended up being someone’s helmet. So I let go after yanking on it (oops) and got sucked underwater about 30 feet. When I popped up I was backwards and didn’t see the raft anywhere. So I turned myself around so that I was feet first on my back like they teach you. I went over several rapids, and banged my ass pretty well on a couple of rocks, but otherwise was doing alright (other than freezing my ass off). It was so cold it was hard to breath. I tried to work my way towards the shore, but couldn’t get there in time for the next set of rapids. I tried to get my feet down too where it was a little slower, but he rocks were too slick, and the water was up from all of the rain. After a while of floating down the rapids on my back, I thought I was just going to have to float the rest of the river. I couldn’t see anyone around me at all. Finally, after who knows how long (they tell me it was about half a mile), I heard a shout over my left shoulder. The other raft was moving up on me. The guide pulled me in, and I collapsed in the bottom of the boat, face first. My head got wedged between the seat and the floor. The finally got me on my back and I just laid on the floor for about 5 minutes or so trying to regain my strength. I finally got back in my own raft, sans paddle. We ended up stopping in an eddy by a bridge, where I got a new paddle, and we continued down the river. I found out that Ashley and Corey got pulled out of the river right away. They luckily popped up right next to the raft. I also found out from several people that I had just swam longer than they’d ever seen anyone swim that section, and that it was called Hell’s half mile. It is apparently the second worst place to swim (the first being Old Grumpy). Everyone was very surprised that I didn’t have any cuts, scrapes or bruises. I’m not sure if I was just lucky, or it was due to the river being up so much. At any rate, I’m glad I didn’t get too messed up.
B ended up pinning us on one more rock, just because he’s sadistic like that. Actually, I’m glad he did, because now I know what to expect, and how to deal with it. We made it through the rest of the trip with no one else swimming. Well, actually, one guy was moving to another seat right when we hit something, and he went in for a couple of minutes. When we finally got to the pull out point, my feet were numb. It felt like I was walking on my ankles.
So, after all of this, we have to go down the river again. That’s ok though, because I learned how to wedge myself in the raft, and I wasn’t going anywhere near the front right seat. I actually got to guide Table Saw and Diamond Splitter on the first trip down, and then got to guide Double Suck and Hell’s Half Mile on the second trip. It is much more fun guiding than it is just paddling. Corey got to guide through Table Saw, Diamond Splitter, Cat’s Pajamas, and Hell Hole on the second ride down. He was doing a good job keeping the right angle through Table Saw, but lost his angle near the end and ended up taking us through Diamond Splitter backwards. That wasn’t nearly as bad as when he turned us sideways through Cat’s Pajamas. That one almost sent the whole boat flying. He got Hell Hole dead on though.
Here I sit, feeling like I just went through the spin cycle twice, and I can’t wait to go back. I pulled a muscle in my back, and both of my shoulders are aching. I did go drop some money on a neoprene shirt, a splash jacket, some fleece pants, and some fleece socks. I’m not planning on swimming again (you never plan on it really) and I want to at least attempt to stay a little warm next weekend. The good news is that me and Corey seem to have jobs as mercenaries (weekend help) if we want them. We just have to go get CPR and First Aid, and run some more practice runs with other trainees. I can’t wait to get certified and start taking customers down, although I’ll probably be scared shitless my first time down with customers. So do I have any volunteers?
