Alright, I just have to make it through two more days (after today that is). In case you haven't heard, I am going to train to be a raft guide this weekend. I have loved white water all my life and can't wait to spend some time this summer paddling down the river.
It started at 6:00 AM at the tail end our annual St. Patty's day celebration. I was telling a story about my last rafting trip down the Ocoee. Well, one of the Wind Wood boys (B Burch) was there too. So, here's the story (because I know you're dying to hear it).
Me, my wife, and my wife's friend Amy went up to the Ocoee to go rafting with B Burch. That Saturday, we took our trip down the river. Well, B turned to me and said "Hey, you want to guide through these next two rapids?"
So, I did. Well, we got through the first rapid, and were about to enter the second. B yells back, "you're doing great." When he looks back, I'm on the floor of the raft, with my paddle straight in the air. I had gotten bumped off the back and onto the floor of the raft. I sheepishly said, "thanks"
Anyways, we got through just fine. We did other fun stuff too. B let me "ride the bull" which is where you sit on the front of the raft with your legs dangling over the edge when you go through Hell Hole. What a rush.
So, the next day I stick around, and my wife and her friend head home. B and I decide to go down the river again. He has a kayak, but I had nothing (not even a vest). So he hooks me up with his boss's "rubber ducky", which is basically shaped like a kayak, but made like a raft. It has two straps running down the inside walls that you put across your knees, and holes to let any water out that comes in. So, for the most part you can just bounce off of rocks. Anyways, I only flipped once, and that was because I tried to maneuver the ducky too sharply. A rubber ducky drives like a Cadillac, in that you have to start your turn about 10 feet before the turn.
So, anyways, we get down to Hell Hole. B tells me I can go around the side. I instantly replied, "Hell no, I'm going for it". So, I get set up on my approach, and hit the wall of water. As I go over the wall and start to drop into the hole, some guy is surfing and doesn't move until the last minute. Too late for me...
I dig my paddle in and turn hard, coming into Hell Hole sideways in the 7 or 8 foot long rubber ducky. I hit the bottom of the hole (about a 4 or 5 foot drop) and somehow stay upright. Next thing I know I'm surfing Hell Hole! It was a site, I'm sure. I had the standard issue live vest on (the one with the cape to keep your head from hitting rocks if you have to bail). So my cape is flapping in the wind, I'm holding steady, and finally I pop out completely unscathed.
It was an absolute blast. There’s nothing like it in the world. So, 6:00 in the morning as we are reliving this, B says something about needing help on the weekends. I (being very drunk) jump on the opportunity. That was almost 11 days ago now and I’m chomping at the bit. I went on a spending binge for camping gear. I’ve already done everything that can possibly be done to prepare. The only things left to do are buy food and pack my clothes. I’ve actually already gathered everything; I just need to stuff it in my pack. I think I’ll do that tonight.
So, I will now quote The Violent Femmes when I say, “I think this summer’s going to be the best, if I don’t die from a lack of rest”
